sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize