so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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