need another drink. this is the easiest way
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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