and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
