I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I am naked and annoyed.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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