He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize