How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
