But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
