i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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