She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
