I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
