I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
