I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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