I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
they need to just BURY HIM!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
