marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
