Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
