Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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