I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
