My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
