also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
