It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
