I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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