Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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