STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
