True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
