i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My feet surprised me
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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