just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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