somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
His nipple licking is glorious
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