Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
