i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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