i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize