...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
