i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
