Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
