1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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