just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize