Can i not drive my cunt home
I just made out with a guy for $7.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
