Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize