so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
