Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
