He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
