id be glad to
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
