so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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