This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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