Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
