college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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