Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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