She's the barista slut.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize