Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize