I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
