im gay
i know
yea but for you.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize