You smell like a Billy Joel song
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
