Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize