Whod you bang
I'm jealous of your bromance
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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