Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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