i just google imaged poop.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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